Guestblogger Wednesday Welcomes Author NANCY HINCHLIFF!

                  

Keeping Up With It All

by Nancy Hinchliff

                        
This is what I do: I run a bed and breakfast, I write 4-5 hours a day, and I read and research a lot. Yes, I have help in the bed and breakfast so that I am free to think and write. I also have four blogs of my own and maintain a blog for the Louisville Bed and breakfast Association. I occassionally blog on She Writes and BlogHer. In addition, I write for the following online magazines: Examiner.com, EyeonLife.com, Hub Pages, Pink and Salon. I also guest posts on a lot of websites.

I started a memoir about a year and a half ago and have written around 56,000 words so far. I am now on my third re-write. I have a Beta reader who is reading my chapters and giving me lots of feedback. And I belong to a critique circle of writiers, who are giving me critiques chapter by chapter. Recently I hired a professional editor to help with the final editing and polishing.

You probably think the first thing I’m going to say is that the answer to keeping up with this kind of schedule is organization. And, that is partly true. But there are some other components that are just as important. I’m referring to: flexibility, work ethic, and the ability to stay and to switch focus easily. Lastly, it doesn’t hurt to have a good sense of humor, a positive attitude, and the motivation to keep going day in day out. Let me add one more thing here, despite the fact that I am eighty years old, I am in great health, get a little excersize, get 7-8 hours sleep every night, and socialize occassionally...but only ocassionally, and always with close, positive friends. Most of my socilaizing is with guests who visit my Inn. I meet a lot of interesting people from all over the world.

Do you have to give up anything for the sake of your writing? The answer to that is a rousing yes!
I have given up friends and acquaintances who drain me or who are totally negative. I have, for the most part, stopped watching TV, gabbing on the phone for extended periods, going to business meetings, and shopping in stores. Except for groceries and meds and sundries, I do everything on-line. In place of those activities, as breaks from the writing, I run a business, play word and brain games on the computer, go to the gym, and read a lot. Right now I am reading mostly memoirs now and books on fictive techniques.

I have people ask me all the time how I handle writer’s block, how often do I blog, and how do I come up with ideas for posts. Amazing as it sounds, I never have writer’s block. I try to post on all of my blogs at least once a week, sometimes more. Finally, the secret to coming up with compelling copy for posts and/or articles is to be compelling and interesting yourself and to focus on interesting things. How do you do that? By reading magazines, books, newspapers, other peoples blogs, on line articles, etc. There's a wealth of information out there...the world is full of it. Also, traveling, engaging in conversations, watching TV and listening to the radio will generate ideas. Another place to look is at yourself: Do you have hobbies and talents? Are you a good mom? a good cook? and so on.

You absolutely do not have to come up with something thought provoking for every post. You can post a recipe and talk about how your baby wont eat vegetables and what to do about it. Or post a video. Or do a book review or review a TV Show or movie or a new CD just out and why you think it's awful. If you’re new to blogging or have tried it yet, try this: Just start writing about the things that interest you...the thought provoking stuff will come later after you get used to blogging. The more you write, the easier it gets. Jot down ideas for blogs as soon as they pop into your head. Good luck! I'll be looking for your posts.

Finally, the reason I emphasize blogging is that it will definitely help your all over writing. You can experiment with various styles, find your “voice”, and start feeling comfortable about putting your writing out there for all the world to see. This is how I got up the courage to start a memoir. This is also how I found my “voice”, the one I’m using to tell my own personal story. If you don’t have a blog already, I suggest you go to Blogspot or Wordpress and start one. You’ll never regret it.

  I am a writer, editor, educator, musician, and small business owner. For the past 17 years I have been Inn keeping at my bed and breakfast in Louisville KY. I am passionate about women's issues, the arts, and life in general. I love to blog.

Nancy Hinchliff, Owner/Innkeeper
Aleksander House Bed and Breakfast Website/Reservations: www.aleksanderhouse.com

Blogs:
www.innnotes.blogspot.com,
www.amemorabletimeofmylife.blogspot.com
www.innbusiness.blogspot.comwww.businessandcreativewomensforum.blogspot.comhttp://support.betterwaytostay.com/video

Guestblogger Wednesday Welcomes Author-LIZZIE ROSS!

 

Samantha, you’ve given me a tough assignment,
but this intrepid girl-writer will come through.   

Guest blogger question of the day: What do you feel is the unique thing about you that makes you the unique writer you are?

Let me start by saying that, for the past 20 years, I’ve argued against the word “unique” whenever I’ve seen or heard it. Every human is unique, and not just because of DNA. Our uniqueness is based in our experiences and surroundings, upbringing and schooling, friends and family, sleep patterns and shoe size. If everyone is unique, then it isn’t such a special quality to have -- it doesn’t make us different from everyone else, it makes us exactly like them! Now there’s a philosophical paradox for you. As Humpty Dumpty says to Alice in Through the Looking Glass,

“Your face is the same as everybody has -- the two eyes, so--” (marking their places in the air with his thumb) “nose in the middle, mouth under. It’s always the same. Now if you had the two eyes on the same side of the nose, for instance -- or the mouth at the top -- that would be some help.”

So, can I rephrase the question, Samantha? Thanks! Here’s my take on what you’re asking: What makes me think I have anything special to say to others? What new thing have I got to offer in my writing?

To be honest, I don’t think I have anything particularly special or new to say. I’m not going to change the world. I tried that with my first effort, historical fiction for young adult readers about a 1920s race riot, and I can safely say it will never see the light of publication -- it isn’t dreadful, just too close to my own experiences and just not good enough. I think it’s the book I had to write, to clear the road for my next effort.

With my writing, I want to amuse. I love making people laugh, so I want to pull back the curtain and show people something that will make them fall out of their chairs. I got close to this goal with my second work, a fantasy set in a world where everyone performs magic, even infants. I’m aiming for it in my third, for which I’m stealing from my decades in academia. I have ideas for WIPs 4, 5, and 6 that will take me to other parts of the globe.

So, all you writers out there, hear this now: You are unique, but that isn’t what makes you special. It’s what you have to say about what you see and think and believe that can make you special in the world of publishing.

Is that what critics mean by “voice”? I don’t think so. I know I have at least a dozen voices (not the bad kind in my head that tell me to do stupid things, but the good kind that help me get into my characters’ points-of-view), each of them yelping like an exuberant puppy for a chance to be noticed.

I’m just trying to open the cage and let the voices out. Release the hounds!

Bio: After careers as student, typist and academic, Lizzie Ross is moving on to writer (although she hasn’t quit her day job). Two of her stories can be found at MouseProse.com and a third at Knowonder! She blogs at Eli Ross, Writer and The Ineluctable Bookshelf, and you can follower her on Twitter at @elirosswriter.

 

TIME OUT

Due to te fact that I am not in shape to write right now there will be no postings from me for awhile. Have a Happy Thansgiving!
Samantha Stacia

Guestblogger Wednesday Welcomes Author KAROLINE BARRETT!

Thank-you for letting me guest blog today, Samantha! My blogging assignment is to be both fascinating and riveting as I discuss The Most Influential Thing That Keeps Me Going As A Writer. Hmmm. I don’t know that I can name just one thing, but I’ll try.

First, a little background on what influenced me most to start writing. My mother introduced me to books at a very early age. The first books I remember reading are my Little Golden Books. Then all the Laura Ingalls Wilder books, Black Beauty, The Black Stallion, Enid Blyton’s books, and The Secret Garden.

But my very favorite books of all were my Nancy Drew collection. Have to love Ned Nickerson always being such a gentleman! Nancy is still my go-to comfort book when I make the horrendous mistake of not having chocolate in the house.

I, too, wanted to create worlds for readers. Worlds with characters they would fall in love with, and places they would want to visit. Luckily, my writing skills far exceed my math skills!

Strangely though, I didn’t get serious about writing until my late forties. My husband encouraged me to take Long Ridge Writers Group Breaking Into Print course. I did, then also took their Advanced Novel Writing course. I was stunned and delighted when my fiction began being accepted for publication. Not by the New Yorker, or Ellery Queen mind you, but published none-the-less. I had a couple of non-fiction pieces published also, but fiction (women’s and humor) are what I love to write.

By now, some of you have probably forgotten my original topic, which may be what I intended, but in case you’re still breathlessly waiting for me to get to it, here you are. The most influential thing that keeps me going as a writer now is the hope that an agent will love my BEING REBEKKAH (it’s women’s fiction with a romantic element), and the hope of seeing copies of my book on bookstore bookshelves——well, actually not on bookshelves because that means hundreds of people have purchased it——or see it downloaded into hundreds of Kindles and Nooks.

The hope that I can reach out to other writers, and share my journey from one blank page to literary success, is also what really keeps me going as a writer. That and the fact that success will mean I can quit my day job, and not have to do math anymore!

I knew I couldn’t name just one thing...

_________________________________________________________

Karoline loves reading, writing, chocolate, the ocean, and anything that has nothing to do with math. Oh, and her family, too. She is wrapping up her first novel, BEING REBEKKAH, and will soon be shopping for an agent (woo-hoo!). Her fiction has been published by Short Stories for Women, Necrology Shorts, The Other Herald, Scribblers on the Roof, Eastown Fiction, Wild Horse Press, Flashshot, Read-A-Romance, The Storyteller, True Love Magazine, Slow Trains Literary Journal, and Long Story Short. Her short story, Atlantic City, 1980 will be published by The Writing Disorder in the spring of 2012. Her Twitter handle is KarolineBarrett if you aren’t following her already. END

Guestblogger Wednesday Welcomes Author- MARLENE DOTTERER !!!

Aren’t You Supposed to be Writing a Novel?

Samantha, thank you for lending me your blog for the day. I’ll be careful with it, I promise!

I’ve been impressed with the blog posts from the other Blooming Late ladies. It’s heartening to see the inner strength within women, and hear their stories of nearly giving up and then getting back on their feet and moving forward. The best part is how women are so willing to encourage each other. “I succeeded, and so can you!” are powerful words to hear.

This post is sort of like that, except I can’t say I’ve succeeded yet. I’m still in the middle of struggling through a bad spot, so this post won’t end with a triumphant tale of victory. But don’t grab the tissues yet. I don’t expect it to be a downer, either.

You see, my current WIP should be finished. But it’s not.

I have piddled around (there’s a phrase that puts me in a certain age bracket) with this novel for over two years. It’s only half done, and most of that was written in the first few months. Why is that? What’s keeping me from finishing?

I’m sure some of you experience the same thing. You drag it out. Ignore the dern thing for a while. Open the document and stare at it. Write one paragraph and delete two.

Recognize any of those? What’s a poor writer to do?

This is not going to be an advice column. I have no epiphanies to share, no organizational miracles to bestow.  At best, perhaps you can take comfort in discovering you are not alone. After all, my book is still only half done. If I had advice, I’d be burning up the keyboard, right?

My current WIP is Bridgebuilders, the second book in The Time Travel Journals series. When I first started it, the writing went quickly. This is the way it is for me - I usually have a few scenes full-blown in my mind, and writing them is just a matter of putting fingers to keyboard. For this book, I had many scenes like that, since two of my characters are people who’ve lived in my mind for a long time. Getting their story on paper was simple and fun.

But these characters had nothing to do with the time travel series. They had their own story, and I needed a way to tie them into the series. So I spent some time writing scenes that would bring them into the time travel universe I created in Shipbuilder. This worked very well and I was really stoked about how it all fit together. 

After about four months, I began to get itchy. I’d been shopping the first book in the series for a couple of years and it still had not been picked up. Should I waste my time writing the second novel in a series that might never be published? Perhaps I should write something completely different. If that got published, someone might then be interested in Shipbuilder.

I decided that I had a good start on Bridgebuilders, and a general idea of where it was going, so it was time to set it aside. I opened a new blank document, and within a year, I had written Moon Over Donamorgh, a fantasy. But guess what? No one picked up that book either (I’m still sending it out).

So I wrote something else. Er... started something else. That book is a science fiction novel about people who live in hollowed-out asteroid spaceship. When I got stuck on that one, I decided I’d try a paranormal romance. That one is not done either, although I’m up to the last scene or two. I’m stuck on the best way to end it, but it will happen.

As soon as I finish Bridgebuilders.

See, I have to finish Bridgebuilders, because I self-published Shipbuilder this year. And I promised people there will be a second book. That promise is everywhere - most especially as an announcement at the end of Shipbuilder. I must make good on that promise. Yet all I can do is stare at the pages. Two years after starting it, the book sits at about 45,000 words, and it won’t budge. I’ve outlined. I’ve plotted. I’ve done snowflakes, blobs, and character development. What I can’t seem to do, is write the novel.

But I keep opening the document and adding a sentence or two. I’ve just printed the whole thing out so I can read it through. Sometimes it helps to have the physical object in my hands, with a pen to indicate what needs to happen or mark areas that need a change. I have high hopes for that approach. By the time you read this post, I hope to have started on it.

I just can’t start it right now. Like many other Blooming Late women, my life is complicated. There are changes going on that require a decision to be made, one with serious consequences no matter what I decide. It’s scary, and it’s impossible for me to concentrate on anything else. But since that decision must be made in the next few days, I’m hoping I’ll settle down once it’s done.

I’ve read how so many of you have managed to do the same thing. So in a few days, I’ll pick up my pen, and do it, too.

                                                                     

Marlene Dotterer grew up as a desert rat in Tucson, Arizona. In 1990, she loaded her five children into the family station wagon, and drove north-west to the foggy San Francisco Bay Area. To stay warm, she tackled many enterprises, earning a degree in geology, working for a national laboratory, and running her own business as a personal chef. She’s a frustrated gardener, loves to cook, and teaches natural childbirth classes. She says she writes, “to silence the voices,” obsessed with the possibilities of other worlds and other times.

She is married to The Best Husband in the World, and lives in Pleasant Hill, California.

Marlene is the author of The Time Travel Journals: Shipbuilder.

Her website is http://marlenedotterer.wordpress.com/

The vicious cycle,NaNo or No NaNo?

I wasn't even going to write a post today.

The truth is I am drained and the mental anguish I have gone through the last few days have been devastating to me and writing just is falling by the wayside.
What a change after my last post huh?

I probably shouldn't even be writing this. I hate being negative.

I actually don't know if I am coming across that way or not but honestly I am mentally tired, and sleep doesn't fix it, I can sleep for two days and still be as tired as I am now.

I THOUGHT I was ready for anything, I read THE book on cancer care giving which was so helpful I cannot even express it and I learned the skill of distraction and possibly even delusion in order to survive what is happening with my husband and his cancer.

BUT what I wasn't prepared for was his company screwing us over and charging us insurmountable charges for my husbands health insurance in order to MAKE us stop using it.

 I had a little savings because we got rid of our house and downsized immediately, we did what most people do when they are forced to but instead I tried to see ahead and get ahead and voluntarily got us ready and into the fight for my husbands life with our eyes wide open so nothing would blindside us.

And I NEVER saw his family coming! I did everything I could to MAKE sure that there was in NO way any problems with him and his family, I told everyone immediately that they were ALL welcome to ask me to try anything and make suggestions for his care and we would do it all. As a result since then we have tried energy balancing bracelets and herbal remedies and prayer clothes and holy dirt. I wanted to make sure that they all KNEW that my husband was accessible to them and our home was OPEN to them to see him and do whatever they needed to in order to help him through his last days and I would never stand in their way.

EXCEPT that what I have done has not mattered in the slightest.

In the last year, my husbands mother has repeatedly passed our home in order to get to another town beyond us and has not stopped by to visit and my husband inadvertently finds out about it 90 percent of the time. He SAYS to them he doesn't care but I LIVE with the man, believe me he cares, he repeatedly brings it up and has a look of dejection on his face that KILLS me and EATS me up inside. He finds out that she visits with and spends time with his other brother who is NOT dying and cannot understand why he isn't as important? I have no answers because I have NEVER been witness to the indecency, the inhumanity, and unconscionable actions that this family has done before but more SINCE he was told he had weeks to live.

I cannot SAY anything to these incredibly maladjusted and dysfunctional people because that makes ME the bad guy, and
"OH THE DRAMA!" if I say ONE critical thing about how my husband would simply like NORMAL visits from a sister who lives 5 miles away, a mother who PASSES the house on average every two weeks, who can visit his other sister in the same town where he goes for treatment but has managed to go see him when he is there over two years but once!! And I am not not supposed to feel angry or resentful of the treatment of people I have repeatedly been told CARE!? WHAT????

I speak my feelings and I get accused of being mean by treating poor people who supposedly sit and cry for days on end, cry at church and cry to EVERYONE, except my husband how much they care!

I am not supposed to have feelings about when 2 of my stepsons who are all adults now were told of the cancer and physically threatened my life if I didn't give them exactly what they wanted of their dads when he was dead! Another son who repeatedly makes a point of talking bad about his Dad and I when we gave him and his two kids and girlfriend a room in our home RENT FREE for months with food and supplies included and even helped pay for their wedding with the ONLY conclusion being because we no longer had the money to bail him out of jail or go rescue them with a new car or anything when he wanted he turned on us.
And Another kid who supposedly cares SO much and then because we don't have the money to completely clothe and feed and take care of his three kids who should be pretty carefree but are still in diapers and acting like they are three years behind their age, my husband doesn't get a visit from because WE are disabled and POOR now ourselves so he hasn't seen thoss grand kids in a year. AND this same older child who had the ability to spend some time with his father as he is camping right now decided instead to go on his own fishing trip after not seeing his father for a year.

This same family who ALL have jobs-there are around 12 IMMEDIATE FAMILY working adults who some make VERY VERY good money in my husbands family not to mention comfortable retirees. Yet it was the ONE member of my family still living who when they gave us so much money it got us, with savings that I had squirreled away as well, to two months ago but now it's all tapped out. 

ONE of his sisters has helped out in ways she could and TRIED to rally some of the family and had managed to help out with our travel expenses, and some medicine bills but we couldn't even get his own kids(and still haven't by the way) to simply publicize our donation website on their face book sites! SHE managed to get the older family members to pay for ONE MONTH of his premiums and so far it looks like thats it.

And theres one family member very well offwho the entire family KNOWS ripped my husband off for money a few years ago, but do you think anyone stands up for him,has EVER stood up for him? THAT man owes him 3000 dollars ouright but not one family member deams my husbands life worth going and putting family pressure to give the money my husbands owed so that we can get another month and a half premium paid! But my husband isn't SUPPOSED to have any resntful or hurt feelings over that?? Oh he does,he really does! And rightly so because regular families ALWAYS side with the victim,not this one-this guy goes along thinking everyone thinks its OK what he did! And I'm not supposed to think thats wrong by their twisted standards either! Yet funny when I explain the facts of all this,people get so angry and are so upset for that happening but his family thinks we should just ALLOW people to walk all over us if they are family! How twisted is that!!??

Meanwhile I am applying for grants, gone on countless websites, talked to EVERY SINGLE government agency and charity in the land only to find out that Frankies situation is better than most, most people go home and die because there IS NOTHING in this God forsaken country for the weak,ill,disabled or poor anymore.

Well, I have been fighting for not just my husbands life but  he is our sons Dad.(who turned 10 in October) Our son who when my husband is present and looking on, has a family who treats him good, but when my husband isn't around has literally been pushed physically away and is abused by them because they refuse to accept him as part of them. SO even more do I fight, because once my husband is gone, there IS only ONE other person who is family to our son, that's me and that's IT. But then again I figure it is better for him to have just me than abunch of twisted evil people to call family!

And that's NOT what did me in this weekend, no-even though because when I TRY to make these HORRIBLE people UNDERSTAND that I am ALONE, that I am tired of explaining that my husband doesn't want damned sleepovers or thousand hour visits, but he DOES want at least to be acknowledged and considered, he wants a lousy phone call once a week or two, he wants his damned MOTHER to stop by on her way to town and say, "HI! I was going into town, thought I would stop by and say hi." for 5 lousy minutes out of her LIFE!He has only one sister visit him at the hospial and his dad regularly at the house who is a good guy.

Its upsetting too our little boy has had to be exposed to the ENTIRE grueling truth of EVERYTHING My husband has to go through in his fight with cancer since he has to attend every single trip to the hospital with us because theres no one to watch our mature, well-behaved and TOTALLY self sufficient ten year old for ONE over night stay every 3 weeks so he can go to school instead.

I cannot say to his family, "Please ask your friends," ( whom you have altogether probably in the neighborhood now of at least 500 of) "to donate a ten or twenty to Frankies site to help us." They wont even bother to mention it and I am the wicked stepmother for even asking!

NO, what has done me in this last weekend is because my best friend from high school who had a nervous breakdown not 6 weeks ago because of her impending divorce and has her job threatened as a result, gave us the remaining 500 dollars last month that we needed to make his premium payment.

NO, it's because a women who I ONLY met online and NEVER in person who has shown me more compassion than the friends who left me after 15 and 25 years of friendship because my husband got cancer, gave me 250 dollars towards 2 payments.

I am NOT dealing well with the FACT that MY friends are having to do what OTHERS SHOULD do! And I feel SO bad about it I can't stand it.

I am not dealing well with the fact that I feel as if my hands are bound and my mouth is taped shut because NO MATTER HOW I approach the people who say they are his family with NORMAL requests for visits, advertising of his website, once a while help out to clean the yard or watch our kid, or even phone calls on HIS birthday, I am made out to be some sort of monster who doesn't understand THEIR positions?

My husband has a shell but ALL of this hurts him, which after 12 years I can SEE as easily if he were to shout out in the anguish he feels at times but he internalises it ALL which I know can't be helping his cancer.

AND now I am in mental anguish because I DON'T WANT to take money from these kind people, I don't want the incredulous looks when I say my son WONT be accepted by a family who doesn't give a damn or abused him simply because he is alive. I don't want to have people say, "Well where's HIS family?" and have that blank look on my face because when I DO decide to explain, it sounds so incredulous that people like them exist, that they are astounded and shocked and even some get angry for us.

AND most upsetting of all for me, there are no reasons, oh yes I have had countless crisis councilors say each and everyone of them are mentally ill and I know that's probably true but it doesn't hurt all the less and it doesn't make me less human for WANTING them to act normal and just do whats normal in acts of propriety and decency at least, or for being at times enraged beyond anything I can explain or cry until I have no more tears because I DON'T WANT to ask for help and I don't want to be alone in all this and just want all of it to go away.

My grandparents are gone now but I was raised in a home where you LOVED your family, you never mistreated them or wished ill of them. My grandparents were ill most of my life and NOT ONCE did I think of what they owned and what I would inherit like my husbands children did that FORCED us to go out literally the next day while my husband was STILL reeling from the news of his own impending immediate death and spend money we shouldn't have had to on a TRUST  with someone else executing it instead of a will because he had to protect me and our son from the cruelty of adult children who only cared for what they apparently had their eyes on the whole time that they hadn't already managed to steal from us prior anyway.

SO what do I say to all that? I guess I was raised right, but being raised right means that EVERYTHING these people do feels so weird and freaky and IMPOSSIBLE to my psyche that it drains and tires me so that my own health is bad and I cant see my own doctors for my health which are both overdue by a year or two. I manage to go to my pcp for my meds for my disability and heart because I know my neuro is going to want tests and my cardiologists is definitely going to want tests and there's no money for that. I have to CHOOSE between the money for my tests and co pays or the money for my husbands life, hhhmm? Guess what wins?

I WANTED to do  the NaNo challenge but think that the stress I put myself under trying to do this ONE thing for myself was unrealistic, I did more words than I thought I could and wish I could do more but this weekend was more than I can handle because more than likely this will be my husbands last year to go on the last thing he still can,his hunt.

I FEEL SO BAD that people are helping us who just shouldn't be and because of my husbands family's disregard and cold attitude toward us in general, even though his dad stepped up and pledged money, it still won't be enough and my husband already has said that the month we can't make the payments until May before his Medicare comes in, he will quit everything altogether.

He wont tell his family this, he tells ME this, why? Because all he will get is DRAMA, it is all about THEM, so he tells them what they want to hear. Its OK that NO ONE visited him ONCE for the entire summer, that no one asked him to go fishing or camping or anything like that that he could do, when he was looking forward to it and it's virtually for free, while he finds out some of them went to the casinos, on vacations to do things with people,out of their way for others that WEREN'T dying, which obviously SHOWS him where he belongs in the CARE department-"No, it's OK, he is OK, nothing bothers him." he tells them. AND then they KNOWINGLY CHOOSE to believe the lie.

And then the door closes, the truth begins and I am all alone.

Samantha Stacia

NaNo-knowledge

I wasn't sure if I was going to even do my blog today even though after sort of being all over the place last week I would really like to have my regular pace kept up in spite of being a NaNoWriMo participant.

On Halloween night after spending an extraordinary near 3 hours trick or treating, I had had a pain in my gut all day that came to a head as full blown stomache flu around 2:30 a.m.

The next morning I took a look over the NaNo site and was seriously thinking over all I was about to do and feeling so weak and sick and all of the sudden I had a very real pat on my right shoulder from someone unseen. It was so comforting and reassuring that I tweeted about it. I feel like it wasn't just a message for me but for everyone who had been having real meltdowns about NaNo.
I am not going to be writing the great American Novel here but I am getting real assurance that this is what I am supposed to be doing.

Today, I reached my minimum word count and decided to go easy after pushing it the last two days and getting done under the midnight time wire with my "good" word count accomplished even though my "perfect" word count of 3000 hasn't been reached yet.

But it was in the last two days especially that I really learned something about writing and myself. These things that I learned amazed me.

First apperantly I am able to be a "pantser" the way that I never thought I could be, I am in a place with my writing that I am more self confident and willing to just "let go" like never before. 

I truly believe it has been the last 4 months support of the women in my writing group "Blooming Late"  that is responsible for this.

I have tried to do this before as my long distance girlfriend Nina can attest to as a couple of times I really tried to give it the old "Ballpark try" and made myself accountable to her etc. but I just wasn't able to do it.

Also the great advice from the first NaNo email helped a lot. I had to consciously made the decision not to edit or correct which really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

But so far the biggest surprise is what I have always wanted to achieve since I was a little girl, I wanted to be able to "get lost" in one of my own books the same way I had others. In fact that was the first reason I wanted to become a writer for, to escape and discover what kind of adventures on paper I had within me, but I was never able to do it, until these last three days.

Since the two other books I had been working on this last year both have pretty well fleshed out outlines and even though I knew what I was going to write about and even how it ended as much as a month before NaNo began, I simply wasn't able to get an outline together no matter how much I tried! I never considered myself a "pantser" and when I tried it several times before in my life, I simply could not accomplish it.

I have had a new character just come on board, he is definitely a bit actor but he was not planned at all. My character Sid TOLD me what his job was because I had no idea.'

I had a women barista who was supposed to be a bit part turn it into something a bit bigger, in fact will most probably be the love interest for Sid. And she changed everything about her that I had planned out for her as her job, she doesn't just work at the bar, she owns it! She has a younger brother I knew nothing about who is constantly in trouble with gambling debts. NEWS to me!

I have always bee a learner by doing better than anything else and this is no exception but I had never would of thought that it would apply to my writing as well! I am finally unlocking the secret of scenes. I know most people probably have no problems with the idea of scenes within a chapter but even though over the years I have probably read near a hundred books on writing novels I just could not truly grasp HOW to write a scene. Where does a scene end? How do you know what exactly constitutes a scene? I just havent been able to really understand it.

But since I have just been pure writing and not doing literally anything else, I haven't done chapter breaks or anything since I haven't got an outline that tells me where the chapter ends and what is within it. I have suddenly noticed that I am doing natural breaks and what do you know, scenes have emerged!
It seems that just like I have all of my life. I am learning best by doing.

Since I hit my writing minimum early today I got a lot of other things done that needed doing and even allowed myself to have a good chat with an old friend where inevitably the conversation has been led to how much she needs to get her life on track to where she wants it and she wants to accomplish something before she leaves this earth, which blows me away honestly because
feeling for the first time that I am doing what I am meant to be doing  and I am no longer in
that place where I am feeling like I have to "get it together". It was actually an odd feeling since I have always had regrets that I was not pursuing my dreams but now I am!       

And now I am going to try and do a small challenge that was in the NaNo email for this first weekend to try and do 5000 words each day, I never would have had the guts to even try but now i don't mind trying because I really know that I am going to get better the more I write and haveing to write in this very simple bare-bones way has really made all the difference.

That pat on the shoulder was there to say that everything would be ok and now I really think no matter what happens it will be.

Thanks for reading!
Samantha Stacia                                                                                                                                                                           

Guestblogger Wednesday Welcomes Author PATRICIA FELMY!

                                   My Own Worst Enemy

One question that adults absolutely love to ask children is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Guaranteed the answers are always varied and never dull!  From the sincere ("I want to be a fireman and save people.") to the silly ("I want to be a fairy princess!"); from the proud ("I want to be a farmer just like my dad!") to the pretentious ("I want to be rich and buy a castle!"); from the practical ("I want to own a bookshop!") to the practically impossible ("I want to be president of Mars!") -- every child has dreams for the future. 

As adults, we often surrender those dreams, casting them aside as nothing more than the wild imaginings of our younger selves.  Yet many times in our lives, we revisit those dreams; we pull them out of the box stored under the bed, dust them off, and reassess their validity in light of our present situation.  Maybe we haven't really given up on those dreams, but we've merely encountered obstacles on the way to fulfilling them which, at one time, seemed insurmountable.  For many of us, the act of re-familiarizing ourselves with our dreams, no matter how farfetched they may seem, invariably brings us one step closer to making them a reality.

For me, the dusty dream has always been to be a writer.  From the time I could string more than two words together and realized that It Meant Something, I've had a deep seated fascination with books and the written word.  As a teenager, I envisioned myself as a female version of Bob Woodward, with some ethereal ungendered Carl Bernstein by my side, churning out Pulitzer-quality investigative journalism pieces.  But my real passion was storytelling.  More than anything, I wanted to write novels. 

I never did write for the Washington Post.  I never won a Pulitzer.  I did see Dustin Hoffman on stage once, playing Willy Loman in <i>Death of a Salesman</i>, but that's a tale for another post.  After college, I jumped the triple hurdles of marriage, mortgage and motherhood, and during the last twenty-three years, I've had many opportunities to write:  jobs which included writing in their requirements, a brief but successful stint in fan fiction, a blog.  Yet the novel remained elusive, the proverbial carrot on a stick that I would dangle in front of my own face and taunt myself with, just to see if I really had the guts to actually take pen in hand (I prefer them to be of the fountain variety) and write one.

You see, on the road to writing my dream novel, my biggest challenge and my fiercest obstacle wasn't time management, financial constraints or a less-than-supportive family.

It was me.

More accurately, it was my fear of my perceived inadequacies which kept my stories untold.  What if my writing wasn't interesting?  What if my plot was lame or my characters two-dimensional?  What if ... what if ... what if?  Even the encouraging comments I received on several vignettes I posted on my blog failed to assuage my fears.  Instead, the praise fed my insecurities.  What if the next piece was disappointing?  What if I couldn't live up to my readers' expectations? 

What if I failed?

There's a myriad of books available on the craft of writing, as well as a plethora of self-help books on the subject of goal-setting and achievement.  I must admit, I've read my fair share of them.  Nothing helped.  I was convinced I was destined to sit on the sidelines, listening to others talk about agents and deadlines and book signings while I nurtured my self-defeating attitude.

It took the wisdom of a fifteen-year-old and the life event of an eighteen-year-old to finally help me overcome that crippling obstacle.

First the wisdom, spoken as only a teenager going on forty can speak it:  <i>"Mom, the biggest failure is not even trying."

She's right, of course.  By giving up without even starting, I'd already failed.  She received a big, tearful hug for that one.

And the life event?  In late August, I sent my firstborn off to college, an adventure which I myself remember fondly and for which I envy her.  She's starting the next phase of her life, full of idealism and optimism and her own dreams for the future.  I've made a conscious effort to encourage all three of my children to take advantage of experiences whenever the opportunities have presented themselves, and I've always told them that they have the ability to do whatever they set their minds to.  In other words, I've encouraged them to dream.  So I have no doubt that, when she returns for the summer fresh from her first year of higher education, she will already be working toward attaining those dreams.

And when she does return, I don't want her to find that her mother has remained static.  While there is comfort in the familiar, there is also boredom.  Where there is no movement, there is stagnation.  As she enters a new chapter of her life, so do I enter a new chapter of mine, and it is that one desire, that need to grow and change along with her, that ultimately will keep me facing -- and overcoming -- the challenge of writing that novel. 

I refuse to be my own worst enemy any longer.

A bit about Patricia-

I'm a 40-something aspiring author who spent my childhood with my nose stuck between the pages of more books than I can possibly remember reading. My best friends weren't named Sally or Molly or Stacy, but Milo, Dorothy, Nancy Drew, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, Bilbo and Frodo. I began writing almost as soon as I could read. Once I saw my byline on an article for the school newspaper when I was in sixth grade, I was hooked, and I knew what I wanted to do when I grew up; I even graduated with a BA in journalism. After twenty-five years, I still haven't grown up, but I continue to evolve as a writer.

I've recently (2004-2009) played around in the sandbox of fanfiction (and anyone who tells you that writing in that arena does nothing to help you hone your craft probably wouldn't know an entertaining story if it bit them!), winning several online fanfiction awards and making some wonderful writing friends. I now blog, have participated in NaNoWriMo twice, and am working on plotting out my first novel (a romantic suspense tale tentatively titled "My Hero") with husband, three teenagers and two beagles cheering me on. To pay the bills, I work at a small financial institution of impeccable repute and in my spare time (??) I knit for charity. I love coffee, old books, antiques, happy endings and fountain pens.

Come and see Patricia's blog- http://patriciafelmy.blogspot.com/